Saying no is hard.
It’s just so. darn. hard.
I feel like it does get easier over time, but it never gets easy. Can I get an amen?
Sometimes you have to say no to a perfectly good opportunity or to a potential client who you’re just not a good fit for or even to friends and family for one reason or another. It’s hard feeling like you’re disappointing someone by saying no. It’s especially hard to say no when the opportunity or request is actually a good thing. Sometimes it’s something that would help pay the bills or something that would help someone out…
But the thing we have to remember, and that I have to keep reminding myself of over and over again, is that we must say no to things, even perfectly good things, in order to be able to say yes to the best things.
You probably sensed the book reference coming up… the book The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst is so good, ya’ll. It dives in deep about that topic of saying no to certain things so that you can say yes to the best things.
Friend, we have limited time each day, each week, each month, and we have to decide where we need to be spending that time. It’s hard to sit down and really figure out the things that are our “best yeses”, but we have to do it. If you are feeling or have ever felt stretched thin or like you’re being pulled in a million different directions and you can’t catch your breath, it could be that you are saying yes to too many things and you need to start saying no.
Stop saying yes to things just because you feel pressure to say yes. Stop feeling guilty about saying no to the things that you really feel you don’t need (or want) to be doing. It’s ok to say no.
It’s ok to say no.
It really is.
I encourage you to stop and take 5 minutes today to really think about the things that are your top priorities in life. Your friends, your family, your clients, your hobbies, whatever they may be.
For me, it’s quality time with my husband. It’s quality time with my closest friends. It’s my family. It’s my faith. It’s leisure time (time to relax and unwind). It’s serving and loving my clients well. It’s investing time into businesses or causes that have unique and special place in my heart.
Those things are my top priorities. Extra things that try to take time away from what I hold nearest and dearest to my heart — the things I value and want/need to spend my time investing in — the extra things will more than likely require a “no” from me because they will take time away from the things that are my top priorities.
And that is not a bad thing. I struggled for so long feeling like saying no was a bad thing, but it is actually a good and necessary thing. By saying no to some things, it means you can finally say yes to the best things! Yes to your spouse! Yes to your closest friends! Yes to that hobby that you’ve been dying to pursue!
For me, saying no has gotten easier over time. It really has. The more you exercise that “saying no to the things that you need to say no to” muscle, the stronger and easier it gets. BUT, as someone who doesn’t like to disappoint people, it can still be a struggle from time to time. I wish I could do it all. But I just can’t. And I finally realized that a few years ago… it has been so freeing!
I want to encourage you to really sit down and hone in on what your top priorities are and to feel released to say no to the other things if you need to. It’s ok. It really is!
I pray that you feel just a tiny bit more release to pursue the things that your heart truly does desire. I pray that you find the strength to say no to the things that you know you need to say no to.
I love you guys! <3